There’s a saying: “If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.”
I used to love that quote, until I realized the table itself was never built for us.
If you’re a woman in tech, you’ve probably been in that room. The one where they assume you’re in marketing instead of engineering. Where your ideas land with a thud, only for someone else to say the exact same thing and suddenly it’s brilliant. The one where you sit down, fully qualified, ready to contribute, only to be asked, “Are you sure you can handle this?”
It’s exhausting. And it’s not just in our heads. Women hold just 28% of computing jobs. The higher up you look, the thinner the air get, only 16% of CTOs and CIOs are women. And yet, we’re told to “lean in,” as if fixing this is just a matter of trying harder.
The Work Speaks But So Should We
A lot of us were raised to believe that if we just do good work, people will notice. That we don’t need to ask for credit, raises, or promotions because eventually, someone will recognize our worth.
That’s not how it works.
I’ve watched incredible women turn down opportunities because they thought they “weren’t ready.” Meanwhile, a guy with half their experience raised his hand without a second thought. And guess what? He got the job.
Confidence shouldn’t be the thing holding us back.
Speaking up isn’t about ego, it’s about making sure our voices shape the things we’re helping build. It’s about challenging bad ideas, pushing for features that actually matter, and making sure decisions aren’t just made about us, but with us.
And if you’ve ever been in a meeting where you said something, got ignored, and then heard a guy repeat it and get all the credit? Next time, try this: "Thanks for echoing my point. As I was saying earlier..." No shrinking. No apologizing. Just taking back the space that was already yours.
With that being said, I really appreciate the work culture we have here at Pvotal. I’m lucky to work directly under Elisabeth, our CIO, who has not only led by example but has also given me the advice and confidence to own my voice. Having people around who uplift you, who remind you of your worth, push you to take up space, and give you the strength to keep going is everything. If you find those people, hold onto them. And if you can be that person for someone else, do it. It makes all the difference.
Hiring More Women Isn’t Enough
Companies love to talk about diversity. They put it on their websites, in their job posts, in their glossy LinkedIn updates. But hiring more women isn’t the finish line, it’s the starting point.
The real question is: What happens after we get in the door?
Do we get the same opportunities? The same pay? Are we given high-impact work or stuck doing the thankless stuff? And most importantly, do we stay, or do we leave because we’re burned out from fighting the same battles every day?
If leadership is all men, that’s not a pipeline problem. That’s a culture problem.
Want to know if a company actually values women in tech? Ask these:
- How many women are in leadership?
- Who actually gets to make decisions?
- What happens when a woman speaks up in a meeting?
- Are policies in place to support women—or just to make the company look good?
If they don’t have real answers, they’ve got work to do.
What I Wish I Knew Earlier
Getting into tech is one thing. Thriving in it is another. If I could go back and tell my younger self or any woman just starting out a few things, it would be this:
- Find your people. A strong network will save you. Connect with women who’ve been through it, who will remind you not to shrink yourself.
- Negotiate everything. Salary, title, projects, men do it without a second thought.
- Speak up. Your work is great, but people need to see it.
- Don’t wait for perfection. You don’t need 100% of the qualifications to go for the job. Men apply with 60%.
- Help the next woman up. If you’ve made it into the room, open the door for someone else.
And one more thing: If you ever find yourself as the only woman in the room, remember, you are not the problem. The room is.
The Bottom Line
Tech doesn’t just need more women. It needs women leading, shaping, and making decisions. And if the existing spaces don’t make room for that? Then maybe it’s time to stop asking for a seat and start building a new table.
